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MANCSPOTTING

Choose to beat up defenceless women
Choose to support a team from a city you've never even been to.
Choose whining.
Choose to wear shit grey shirts then blame them when Southampton stuff you.
Choose to release Cantona because he's the only one who recognises how shit Cole is.
Choose cheating.
Choose not to condemn your player after he has just been convicted of assault.
Choose to spend your career in the reserves because the money's good.
Choose a psychopath for your captain and call him a gifted visionary.
Choose to waste 7 million on Cole.
Choose the arrogance to field your reserve team and then bleat about the consequences.
Choose a racist thug as your new goalkeeper.
Choose not to be liked by anyone and pretend not to care.
Choose your own referee and assistants
Choose a Scandinavian paper boy as your top goal scorer.
Choose to have the biggest squad in British football and then complain about injuries.
Choose your club before your country.
Choose Wales before England.
Choose to be arse-licked by the media and then accuse them of anti-United bias.
Choose to forget 1969 to 1993 ever existed.
Choose to change the team you support every 10 years.
Choose to shield your players from TV interviews until they can read and write.
Choose Jordi Cruyff.
Choose to change your kit 6 times a season.
Choose to be snubbed by every decent player around the world and pretend that you didn't want them anyway.
Choose self-deception and delusions of grandeur.
Choose your greatest ever player as an incoherent, wife-beating, alcoholic named Best.
Choose to poach your "impressive youth policy" from other clubs.
Choose Man Utd